i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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