plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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