On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I bet he comes in French.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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