when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize