i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
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My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize