So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
BRING THE BAGELS
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
