In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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