You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
