Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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