I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm bleeding and have questions
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
