I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
