I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
