I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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