oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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