Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
