i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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