The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
