Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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