i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
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I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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