he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
