I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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