Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize