she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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