Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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