I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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