How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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