hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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