You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize