Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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