I want to make a zoo with you.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
