we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
