Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
