yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
