I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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