Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
