Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
