Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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