once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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