Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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