So drunk its hurt
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
