Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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