im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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