Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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