I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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