Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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