we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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