question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
