I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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