do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
