whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
