You work out of a Hotel?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
