It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
