If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
