4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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