but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
