dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
