Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am spending my child support on dildos
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
