my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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